Easy.

It just occurred to me how guys have never been called that. Easy.

If a girl sleeps with a guy fast enough, she’s considered “easy” but you NEVER hear guys being called easy. You know why?

1. Most girls don’t usually see guys as their conquests, and they’re not the ones making the effort to get the guy. They’re the ones being “gotten”.

2. Most girls don’t talk about guys in that way with their friends.

Well BULLSHIT I say. Why are we being treated this way by guys, and then being called “easy”, when for all you know we could have been doing the same to the guys?

Look at it from a guy’s point of view. He meets a girl, talks to her, gets close, fucks her and then goes and tells his friend, oh she’s easy.

Now look at it from a girl’s point of view. Maybe it was the girl who first sets her eyes on him, positions herself in a way so he’ll meet her, talks to him, accommodates his cockiness and all that (all while knowing too well about his player tricks and seeing right through him, but playing along anyway), gets him into bed and not call him back after because she’s gotten what she wanted.

But because this is so unusual, and you rarely see girls as the ones “preying” on the guys, hence they rather believe that the girl is “easy”.

So if you look at it, there really are two scenarios going on:

Guy: Oh wow pretty girl in club.

Girl: YES he saw me. Now come talk to me.

Guy: Oh wow I got her number I’m so cool.

Girl: Finally, exchange of numbers. Let’s speed this up I don’t want to be wasting too much time.

Guy: Oh wow look at me I’m so cool with my player tricks on her.

Girl: Oh my GOD player tricks again. And it’s basically similar to the ones the past five guys before him have been using. Should I point this out and crush his cockiness … nah. Too much effort. He means nothing to me anyway I just want physical. I’ll just accommodate his ego.

Guy: Oh wow I got her into bed I can now tell the world she is easy and that I’m such a pro at this.

Girl: Okay. Mission complete. Oh wow nice shoes what color should I get?

For all you know, it could have been this way! It could have been her setting him up! Why is it so inconceivable? Why would guys and their friends rather believe that the girl is “easy”? Is it because they themselves do not want to believe that girls are just as capable of seizing power, playing THEIR game and turning the game on THEM?

I wish there were more Samantha Jones in this world to put these men in their places. Because if you sleep with a Samantha Jones, you won’t say she’s easy. Because you know you’re the one who got played. Badly.

So guys, really, wake up and realize that we’re all not just pawns in your game. The reason you felt like you “played” us is because you didn’t mean enough to us for us to do more than just play along with your ego. It’s like sex. Why would we want to make a big fuss about wanting to be on top so we can feel all female and empowered when we feel more pleasure being on the bottom while we exploit you to do all the work?

That’s why I hate mind games/playing hard to get, and that’s why I don’t even bother playing them. Because guys are just not worth my time/energy. I rather use my brainpower to do save trees.

I told Debra this and she said the true measure is when you PLAY these mind games and you still get your guy. It’s not ignoring him AFTER the sex that’s pure genius, she says, it’s ignoring BEFORE the sex, yet you still get it.

I don’t know … it all sounds like a lot of work to me. I mean, I wouldn’t completely throw myself at him. I do just enough to keep him on his toes, not to completely knock him off them.

Also, it depends on what level you are at. As I move in to my 20s and start meeting older guys, it’s like a whole new dating world. It’s no longer high school boys, where their biggest worries are… homework and football or something. Their world is limited. When you start meeting guys who actually have real worries in life, you start to cut that crap. A guy who comes back home from work, tired, doesn’t want to be mindfucked by the girl he’s interested in. He just wants a normal banter, followed by a mature conversation between two adults.

But the biggest reason is that … mindfucking is just not me. It’s too much deception and mask-wearing. I can’t do that. I can’t say what I don’t feel like saying. I’m all for honesty, and I’m honest as hell. If I think a guy is hot, I’ll tell him. If I like a guy, I’ll tell him (eventually). I can’t beat around the bush too much. It’s. Just. Not. Me. And I can’t not be me with anyone. That’s the one thing I really cannot do.

Playing hard to get/mindgames is just not me. I prefer bluntness. And expediency. And convenience. And so it’s easy for me to fall into the “easy” pile, though I don’t really see it that way. I mean, I don’t just date anyone … I have standards, and a very top-notch compensation system (I would like to believe). And face it, I’m a girl, if I like a hot guy, then my heart just melts for him. In a disgusting way that I do not wish to repeat again. I like men, I like … er physical things, so why would I want to delay the process for no legitimate reason?! Why should girls be labeled “easy” for something they just like doing?

Urgh. I hate that term. HATE IT. Especially if it’s used wrongly, which it is most of the time. Plus if I’m not even it for the long haul then why should I wait for the third date or so to sleep with the guy, when there won’t even be a third date?

Guys really have to start understanding the fact that women have changed, that we’re not your bitches anymore, that we’re just accommodating your ego to make our lives easier and that it might have been us who are trying to get you into bed all along. And that we might be a little more open about it now, hence this blog post.

People who insist on passing judgment consist of two kinds: 1) people who are jealous because they’re not getting any 2) people who are hypocrites because they do the same yet they denounce others for it.

For what it matters though, I really salute guys who can master cockiness in the right way … and retain a girl’s attention. But that’s story for another day.